Relationship issues – advice from the Devon Wellbeing Hub

Posted by Devon Partnership Trust in Mental health, Recovery and wellbeing on 21st August, 2024

Since the Devon Wellbeing Hub launched three years ago, the support we provide colleagues working in healthcare, social care and the police has expanded. The issues we help with aren’t just related to work anymore. In fact, we spend a lot of time helping colleagues who are facing issues in their personal life, and one that comes up frequently is relationship concerns.

A lot of relationship issues often stem from a lack of communication. Lau Harp, one of our Psychotherapists in the Hub, highlights how good communication can increase our connection and understanding of one another – especially when one of us may be having a difficult day.

Lau explains: “One of the common misconceptions we have about relationships is that they should always be equal. To strike a continual 50/50 balance can be really difficult to achieve. If we hold ourselves up to this standard we can easily find ourselves in a place whereby not only do we feel pressure and expectation associated with our relationship, we can also begin to feel that the relationship itself is problematic. Could it be that the problem is more about the way in which we approach our relationships as opposed to the relationship itself?

“Brene Brown talks about open and honest communication regarding your resilience and energy being fundamental to the success of a healthy relationship. She suggests checking in with each other each day and being really honest about how much of yourself you are able to bring to that relationship on that given day. It might be that if one of you has less than 50% to give, so the other picks up the slack (maybe they can do the dishes and the laundry that day for example). Or it might be that both of you are operating on lower than the desired 50%. If this is the case, the suggestion that you work together as a team to adjust your expectations from the day and from each other helps to forge a sense of conscious communication whereby as a unit you are focussed on what you can do rather than what you can’t. The openness that this can help to forge in a relationship strengthens your emotional connection and understanding of one another on a deeper level.

“At the Hub, we provide a safe and non-judgemental space for you to explore any relationship issues you may be facing. We will listen to how you, help you identify your needs and signpost you to services for further support.”

If you are facing a relationship issue and unsure where to turn, the Devon Wellbeing Hub is here to help. Please note we do not offer relationship counselling, instead we will talk through your concerns and signpost you to services for further support. Colleagues working in healthcare, social care, the police and VCSE organisations across Devon can contact us for free, confidential support on 0300 303 5455, dpt.devonwellbeing@nhs.net or via our online referral form.